With time, things change. Some of them can be easily dealt with but there are a few things that may not come as easy. One such thing is heartbreak.
In the past, you had spent wonderful time and created great memories with a person but as the time passed, the spark somehow faded away and you had nothing else left to do but let them go. However, there are times when people just cant let it go and want to remain ‘just friends’, the way they were before they got romantically involved.
But is that really a good idea and how bad could it get? Here are a few questions you need to answer to your own self before you decide on.
Did detox happen?
There should be some time allowed after the breakup before you even think of contacting them again, maybe six months. Although it generally depends on the duration to which the relationship lasted. The period of utter silence is a must if you ever consider being friends again. It gives you some time to get back your life back and lead life in a usual manner as all the bad feelings and the grudges usually fade away by then, and you feel detoxified. Once you have gone through that, it may not be as hard to give the friendship a shot.
Did proper closure take place?
If you ever want to be in touch with your ex somehow, you need to ensure that you both had solid reasons for the splits. Nothing must remain unsaid, and there must be a proper conversation. Usually, there is just a blame game and cribbing that happens at the time of break up but it can’t ever lead to the possibility of a good friendship sometime in the future. So, just talk and break it up with respect and dignity.
What was the relationship like?
Everybody has their share of good relationships and bad relationships. The basic difference among them is how you got treated. If the relationship was like toxin to your overall self respect and individuality, you better not think of being with that person ever again, in any way. Just quit them cold turkey.
If your partner had always tried to make you feel insecure and guilt along with making you apologize for even the things which you never did, you shouldn’t be thinking of being with that person ever, even as a friend. But in case that person helped you grow, there is nothing bad with being friends.
Can they change?
People get to know the real people when they get into a relationship. A girl you met at the bar last night may seen super fun and amazing as you talked to her but only after spending some time with her will make you understand what she is really like as a person. If you have started to hate something about your partner overtime and it becomes the reason for the breakup, you must always keep that in your mind. And in case you are wondering that they could change, well that is not going to happen mostly.
So before approaching them for being friends, always remember why you broke up in the first place. Fundamentally, people never change and even a bad breakup cant really help that.
Are your intentions honest?
This is bad, in fact a very bad idea. In case you aren’t the one who initiated the whole breaking up process, there are chances that you may still have strong feelings for your ex. There is nothing worse than that in the whole world. You will be around them most of the times and their dating life would become disturbing for you. So look into your subconscious and think about it. In case you are completely over that person romantically, it’s really okay being friends, given the fact that you had your six months window (refer the first point).
It’s not easy breaking up. There is all this hate, a lot of feelings unexpressed and a lot of things undone. Life changes a lot when you break up and human mind is wired to be afraid of changes. So it may seem tempting to be in touch with your ex, but overtime you will realize that it wasn’t really a great idea to do so. But it isn’t impossible being friends if the breakup happened with mutual consent, if you really like that person and you want to be in touch with them. After all, friendship is a bond much greater than anything else.
So if you have ever tried being friends with your ex, you must share your experiences below.