While work spouse relationships have the ability to make work more enjoyable, there is a potential downside. In case you are unfamiliar with the term, a work-wife is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have developed a close platonic relationship. As work besties you remain inseparable during lunches, breaks, and even emergency fire drills. Your work spouse is your immediate go-to for intel relating to hirings, firings, promotions, demotions, freak-outs and of course gossips.
You feel better just knowing there’s someone you can trust for professional and emotional support when you need it the most. But unlike other relationships, this may also get sour but you cant really end it. Here are five signs which will help you to recognize that your work-wife relationship is toxic:
1. Your every conversation with her centers around what is wrong at work
This happens when you realize that there is a lot of negativity and you two unleash a torrent of frustrations in an endless loop. This is also the time when your relationship starts to come apart which can make the situations worse and awkward for both of you. Sometimes to kill the down vibes she suggests, “intentionally shifting the conversation away from work and toward something that you think might have more positive energy associated with it” which is not related to your work , maybe towards your mutual passions.
2. Being there for her is keeping you from doing your job.
Schmulovich says that “The foundation of a work-based relationship is the need to work together.” There are so many boundaries in a relationship if you are close to someone in your office. In such a case the roles of co-worker and a friend may also conflict. You must remember that your friendship is important but your job is more important.
3. She talks about you behind your back.
Schmulovich says that “Things can change in a relationship, and so having somebody know so much about your personal life introduces some risks.” You should be very careful while sharing your secrets or your personal life with someone because the damage can be worst if someone knows all your secrets. Act wisely!
4. Your coworkers see and treat you as a unit.
When your coworkers know everything about you and your work-wife, it not only becomes a problem for your workplace dynamics, but may also become a hurdle for your career. This can also prevent you from being collaborative.
Schmulovich says “In the workplace, it’s really important to be seen as somebody that works well with everyone”. “That’s an important part of being a team player. If you are clearly close with some people and not others, that can negatively impact the dynamic in the entire team.”
5. She puts down all of your ideas.
There is always a kind of a competition between you and your co-workers. You may also feel jealous when the other person gets a promotion but you are just stuck at one place. You also must be very careful because jealousy can anytime spoil a healthy relationship. “It’s possible that this person really disagrees with the way you’re doing something, or it’s possible that they are really just jealous of you,” Shmulovich says. If she always puts down your ideas and complains about everything you do, you better need to move on or reset such a relationship. Be careful!